UGH! How did I get here?

So, I am not having a good day in Raleigh. I haven't posted in a while mainly because I have learned that most people, my husband especially, really don't want to hear how miserable I am. Even your bestest friends. I figured there are two reasons for this: 1) Your friends and family love you and it hurts them to know you are sad and 2) It gets old. Seriously, I have been for 6 months. It is time for me to get over it, but some how I just can't. Have you ever felt like you really belonged somewhere? I mean that feeling of looking around you and knowing you are exactly where God wants you? I did. In Birmingham. In Hoover. In Lake Cyrus. At Deer Valley Elementary. I truly felt that way. And now, I wake up every day and realize I live in a city mostly populated by Penn State and Michigan fans or anything popular "up north". Please don't let me offend anyone, not that those aren't great places, BUT I have lived in the south my whole life! I am a die hard SEC college football fan! (ROLL TIDE!) I miss hot southern nights and rednecks at Wal-Mart. I miss southern accents everywhere I go and people saying, "God Love 'Em and Bless Their Heart when they really don't like the person. I miss going to school where Christmas is celebrated BIG! I miss trucks on the road and rebel flag stickers (even though I made fun of them!) I miss my Sweet Home Alabama and I dream of going back, and when I do I will cement my feet there and you won't be able to drag me away!

Halloween

Our Halloween pumpkin that Keith and the kids carved! Jake, of course would have nothing to do with the pumpkin guts but Abby loved playing with it! We were going to carve two but time just got away from us. We are still trying to find a way to work in family time. It has been an adjustment getting used to Keith's new work schedule and Abby's gym schedule.
This is a group of kids we went Trick-Or-Treating with. It was a lot fun and our neighborhood is GREAT for Trick-Or-Treating but the holidays really make me miss all my friends in Alabama. Sometimes I drive around and still sort of wonder how I got here! But, we are trying to make the best of it!

Mean Mean Garbage Man!

Ok, for those that know me know that I have always had a GREAT relationship with the garbage men in Birmingham.  I always gave them cold water in the hot summer, extra cash at Christmastime and an occasional baked cookie.  WELL...it is not so easy here in Raleigh!  I got blasted by a garbage man today!!  He literally came to my door and yelled at me for having my garbage cans too close together!  All I am saying is that if they came more than once a week and allowed you to put bags next to your can then I wouldn't have to have THREE garbage cans!  He told me that because they weren't 5 feet apart he had to get out of the truck to pick up my garbage cans.   Well, he didn't mind getting out of the truck to come to my door to yell at me!!!!  Stupid Stupid Raleigh!

I haven't posted in a while.  A lot has been going on.  There have been some really good things: Abby won it all at her gym meet (a post with pictures will come soon!)  Jake is playing basketball and seems to really like it!  They have had some spend the nights and play dates...BUT... I am still struggling!  It seems like each day that I try to take a step forward I move a few steps back.  Keith is STILL working 2 1/2 hours away everyday.  It is really putting a strain on our family.  Moving is one thing but adding never seeing Keith to the mix is really tough.  When he traveled in Birmingham it wasn't a big deal because I had such a network there, but here I have me, myself and I to take care of all that needs to be taken care of.  Not to mention, the CRAZY school situation.

I long desperately to move back home!  I know that may not be in God's plan and I am trying to accept that and I will, but I still long for it! I get tired of people acting like I just need to get over it and move on.  Those people obviously weren't as happy as I was in Hoover!  

Charlotte...the next big decision.  So, we have learned a lot being in Raleigh.  One of the main things is we don't feel like this is the right place for us.  So, we have a decision to make.  Do we move to Charlotte???  It is closer to most of the facilities Keith will be working at, it is closer to family and friends, the schools aren't tracked in/tracked out-reassigning all the time.  So why is the decision hard?  I will tell you....the thought of moving AGAIN!  And deep down I secretly hope that when the time comes to move Keith will have found a job back in AL (the REAL south) and I can go home!  

So I have been awake since 4:30 (which is pretty typical when I have a lot on my mind) sitting here thinking about where God is going to take my family!  I will continue to get on my knees and ask him to open the doors that need to opened and close the doors that need to be closed and to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR what the right decision is.  

A lesson I have learned...I am human and nothing more.  God is in total control and all I can do is wait and see where he leads me and yes, I will follow even if he has to drag me!

It just takes one!

So, I have been a little worried about my upcoming visit back to Alabama.  I am so excited to see my friends and for my kids to see their friends but to be honest I am a little apprehensive about being able to leave once I get back there!  I haven't really connected to anyone here.  I haven't felt like my neighborhood is very friendly or that there is anyone around me that I will be able to just hang out and drink a glass of wine with or just talk to or ask a favor of.  I have been very lonely here.  I keep telling myself it has only been 2 months but it has been two very lonely months.

I am a people person and I LOVE my friends!  I NEED my friends!  With a husband that is gone a lot you rely on your network of friends so much!  I have so missed that!!  So, I have been worried about seeing everyone again.  I just don't think I can rip that band-aid off again.  And especially now, knowing what I am going to come back to!

BUT...God sure knows what we need!  I have always told Keith it just takes one person to get you connected.  Well, last week I went to a volunteer meeting at school and sat across a lady who introduced herself to me, asked me where I was from, what neighborhood I lived in, how old my kids were.   Would you believe she lives in my neighborhood and has a daughter Abby's age and in that time has introduced me to 2 other ladies in the neighborhood who one of them called me and asked me to go to Bunko tomorrow night at a ladies house who I can walk to whose daughter is in Abby's class!  UNBELIEVABLE!!  All that right before my trip back home.

It is like God knew that I needed at least one connection before I went back.  So, do I need to go to Bunko the night before a 6 1/2 drive?  No!  But am I going??  You bet!  I even walked across the street to ask a total stranger if her daughter could babysit (She was recommended)!  

It just takes one person to get you connected!!  So, if someone new moves into your neighborhood or you see a new face at school...be that one!  Help them get connected!  

Room Renovation- Abby

Abby loved helping take down her wallpaper border!  She was a HUGE help!!  Give the girl a spatula and she was a worker bee!
She picked out her colors!  Two walls purple (her new favorite color) and two walls lime green!!  
After we were finished she said, "I love my room!"  It was the first time she had said anything positive about her room since we moved!  It is amazing how a little paint and personal touch can make things feel like home!
We still have to hangs some things on the walls and get a rug BUT...it is so much better!!  It is so "Abby!"

Room Renovation- Jake

This is what Jake's room looked like before...lovely for a boy huh!!  He was quite ready for a change...and FAST!!!  It took forever to get all that border down, but hot water, fabric softener and a kitchen spatula did the trick!  Now we are ready to paint!
Well, almost ready!  We have to prep the room.  Jake loved taking all the fixture plates off the wall.  Give the boy a screwdriver and he will work!
This rooms needs some blue!  Here are the boys ridding the room of all things yellow!!
WOW!  What a transformation!  Jake loves his new room and is so glad there are no more "girl colors" in it!!  Of course, now he wants his dinosaurs back on his wall!  YIKES!!!